I can't sleep so I thought I could clean up again my brain I write some stuff ...
I've found a new heart but I've bought it on my own but nothing really change since I have this one. It's not the same anyway just a cheap imitation ...
Well my friend leaved now and I think our paths in life seperated again ... We don't write much at the moment and he seems to stay there longer than I thought.
I think I've lost again! No matter what I try to do or make decisions! I'm always unsure and don't know if it is right or wrong ... Well and the ones I call friends have their own problems and I don't wanna be a bother to them. I try my best to be there for them but I can't really see them there for me.
I wish there could be someone who always cares for me and built me up in times like this ... Maybe there is someone but I can't see this one! I lose my hope forward it! I've realized that I'm really lonley these past days ... The two most important friends are really far away right now and I can't really communicate with them. Well I think one of them don't like me anymore cuz we are struggling to much the past months.
And next month maybe is our last! I try to think that's just my imagination and don't do anything wrong but it's hard...
And in few days I get my own apartment ...
I wonder how it will go? Will I be lonely?
But I believe that's the real thing and the right choice!
Why need humans always a partner or a lover? I don't think this is the meaning of life isn't it?
Wahhhhhhh!!!
So many questions and no answers yet ...
